


From Russia, With Love.

by deathandelirium



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Bucky Barnes After Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky needs a hug, Complicated Relationships, Domestic!Avengers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hydra (Marvel), Light Angst, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective!Bucky, Protective!Reader, SHIELD, Slow Burn, Super Soldier Natasha Romanov, Super Soldier Serum, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, mentions of Loki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25436629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathandelirium/pseuds/deathandelirium
Summary: So this was in my old account (qoyzhavvorsi, its me) and i lost access to it since it has been a long long time.I rediscovered this unfinished work and have decided to go for it again maybe on my spare time, so im posting it here.its probably gonna be around 20 chapters long.__________________________Reader is Natasha’s younger sister, gathered with her by Nick Fury to the SHIELD and Avengers Initiative, but she denied. Deciding to live a low life after all the experiments and training she went through her whole life.When a certain Winter Soldier is found with sever PTSD, she is called to help again.
Relationships: Avengers Team & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/You, the winter soldier/you
Comments: 13
Kudos: 22





	1. The Winter Never Really Ends In Russia.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, the chapters posted were written YEARS ago on my old account.
> 
> The Russian is straight up from google translator, i love russia and everything about it but i don't speak Russian and can barely understand it, so please if you can correct me be free to do so :D (I hope i do not offend any russian babies here, please)
> 
> Saying that, english is ALSO not my first language, please if there's any mistakes or anything I let slip, let me know, I'm here to make this enjoyable to all of us <3
> 
> That's it, I hope you like it (:

She’s not coming…” Clint said, looking through the windows of the last floor of Stark Tower.  
  
“She is coming, She’d never desert me” Natasha’s voice was serious, the whole air on the room was heavy and all the avengers were there. Waiting.  
  
“Russian doll better hurry up, we have a lot to work on with that one” Tony said, playing around with JARVIS. At the same moment Tony said so, the elevator doors opened to reveal Agent Coulson and a small female frame behind him. Natasha smile grew wide, almost running towards the door  
  
  
"сестра _(sister)_ " Natasha hugged you as soon as you entered the room, you hugged back the red headed assassin.

"сестра, как ты? ( _sister how are you?)_ " you haven't seen Nat in months. Yes you helped the Avengers several times before but would rather be apart from them, even though it means to be away from your sister months at a time.

" Я огонь , как насчет вас ? _(I'm fine how about you?_ )" your sister's arms were still around you. You were about the same height as Natasha, maybe even a little shorter, she was also almost three years older than you, making her feel very protective and responsible for everything about your life.

"English, please?" Tony interrupted, you never really liked Tony. To you, he was just a playboy with a fancy machine. Not a real soldier, not a real hero. Natasha looked back at you.  
  
“дорогая _(sweetie),_ we need your help” Natasha had her eyes on yours, she looked extremely worried, more worried than when she asked you to help with Loki, and that was a wicked case.  
  
“I’m listening” your accent was still noticeable, unlike your sister’s. Still, you liked it. You could speak Russian, English, German, French and Italian, but you never managed to get rid of your accent.  
  
“We found someone, from HYDRA…” your eyes widened as you heard the name, fear pumping through your veins “The Winter Soldier, he was HYDRA’s secret weapon... his name is James Barnes, he’s American and he fought on War with Steve” now you looked up to Captain America, who approached the two of you.  
  
“Ms. Romanoff…(Y/N), Bucky, James, we were friends… and he means a lot to me, if you could only help him” you took the file Rogers was holding and passed your eyes through it, it would do little help. You needed to see him.  
  
“Take me to the subject” you stood on your feet again, side to side to your sister, who seemed to be relieved by your decision. As much as you didn’t want anything to do with Tony Stark, you couldn’t say no to your sister not to someone to been throught what you or her been through. You needed to help.  
  
  
  
  
The elevator went to the labs, you could see Bruce and Thor as the door opened, both smiled at you.  
  
“Lady (Y/N)” Thor took your hand, kissing it “Freya herself envies your beauty” you smiled shyly hugging him. He was by far your best friend on the Avengers.  
  
“(Y/N)… hi, I was wondering if they would call you” Bruce said as you greet him with a hug “long time no see…” you knew he and Nat had something going on, since she asked you to teach her techniques of how to calm him down and she talked about him, a lot.  
  
“Yes, where is Mr. Barnes?” you couldn’t see the man around,  
  
“On the cages” Tony replied and you looked shocked at him, cages?  
  
" _Он не может поставить людей в клетках! Это варварское! (He cannot put people in cages! This is barbaric!)_ " you aggressively whispered to Nat, who held your wrist carefully.

"You're right, love but we are not sure how much we can trust Bucky yet. Steve says he's a good guy, but we know what HYDRA can do...please (y/n), be careful, I know you don't trust Tony, but be careful." There was true concern on your sister's eyes and you agreed, with a small smile and a head nod. 

You and Natasha always had a special connection, even before your mental training. You could tell the other's feelings and sometimes even thoughts, also you could easily sense when the other was in danger, _'blood is thicker than anything on this world, family always comes first'_ your grandmother used to tell you.

"Does Porcelain Doll over there will someday quit the Russian mumbling around?" You heard Tony asking Natasha as you approached the cage, you could swear you sister rolled her eyes and punch him on the ribs by his sound.

"Leave her alone" there it was, the old protective Nat.

You asked the guards to let you in, they didn't. Just when Tony said it was okay, they opened the glass door for you. 

"чертовский _обученных собак (fucking trained dogs)"_ after you mumbled that, more to yourself that anything else, you saw the man on the room look at you with fear. HYDRA traumatized him, of course speaking Russian wouldn't help, stupid you. 

You walked a few steps, closer to him, showing both of your hands on a 'surrender' gesture, assuring you had no weapons on.

"Hi, I'm (Y/N), I'm here to help you" you place a seat in front of him, looking for his eyes. There was so much fear it was paralyzing.

"You just... spoke Russian, you're lying, you're with them..." his whispers were fast, his voice almost not coming out of his throat.  
  
You laid your eyes at the man, he was tall, strong, just like Rogers, but brunette and long haired, with multiple scars and a prosthetic metal-made arm with a Red star on it. His eyes were baby blue, blown with fear of what happened to him and of the unknown.  
  
“I’m not lying. Yes, I spoke Russian. I am Russian. I am (Y/N) Romanoff, I am Natasha’s Romanoff, the Black Widow, sister. She’s Steve Roger’s friend. They help you to come in here…” your voice was on an even tone, calm and deep, on a way to the man’s mind.  
  
“Steve Rogers is my friend…” he said again, finally looking up at you, into your eyes, with a small smile. Good, now you had to keep that look to make your magic work.  
  
“Yes, he is your friend, and I am his friend, you can trust me.” You made the foolish mistake of touching his prosthetic hand and it all snapped.  
  
The act was so fast you barely registered on your brain. James got up and suddenly attacked you, his metal arm around your neck, your back against the wall. You never tried to free yourself, breathing deeply and keeping your eyes locked with his the whole time. At the same time, Steve and Natasha were on the room helping you.  
There is was, in front of you, every feeling that went through his mind from the moment he threw you against that wall to the moment he let his grip go and muttered ‘sorry’. You needed him to snap like that, you knew you could get by and you knew nothing would actually happen to you, because of course everyone was watching and you were just as trained as Natasha.  
  
“Are you alright?” you sister asked, checking the marks on your neck, you nodded.  
  
“Leave us…” your eyes never leaving Bucky. Steve and Nat looked at each other confused “Please, sister, Capitan, leave us… it won’t take long.” Now you looked deep into your sister’s eyes for a second “trust me Nat” she agreed, kissing your cheek.  
  
“We’ll be outside” Rogers said, giving one last look at you and Bucky. You gave him a small warm smile.  
  
Bucky was sitting on the corner, on the floor, arms around his knees, rocking his body, a typical panic attack. Eyes shut as he mumbled some incomprehensive words. You kneeled in front of him.  
  
“James, it’s alright” again your deep, low, even tone “you didn’t hurt me, you are safe. Everyone is safe”  
  
“There’s too much blood, there’s blood everywhere, I can’t feel my arm. And the snow… is the snow ever going to end on this fucking land?” his eyes were still shut, you realized it was his memories from before HYDRA found him, you needed to bring him back to reality.  
  
“The snow never ends in Russia” you laughed a little, actually you missed it, that’s why you had your natural (H/C) hair white.  
  
“I hate Russia…” he breathed, finally looking up at you.   
  
“You are in New York now, on Stark Tower. You are safe… You are not in Russia anymore"  
  
"Why are you doing this?" his voice was full of pain "I don't want to remember, I don't want... There's too much blood, too much death...Everybody's dead"  
  
"You're alive, I am alive... Steve, Natasha, the avengers, we are all alive Bucky. It's over now..." you worked your way to hold the soldier's human hand, slowly brushing his knuckles, trying to calm him down. He denied your words with a head nod  
  
"Everyone's dead, they just don't know it yet" Okay, it can be the panic, you had to work through it "You're dead, doll"  
  
"And what happened to everybody, Bucky?" now you were genuinely confused, his eyes changed to an evil cold smirk on the last sentence, he was not terrified anymore.  
  
  
"я сделал (I did)" 


	2. Hot Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of what happened after your first meeting with the soldier  
> and how the others reacted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if its too bad i am reposting from my phone. 
> 
> Hope you like it

You left the chamber where they kept Bucky to find a new face looking straight into your eyes with a deadly expression.

"What do you think you are doing with that animal?" the passive aggressiveness on his voice cut the air in between you.  


"Hello Loki" you were not scared by the asgardian prince, passing by him. Loki held your arm pulling you back near him, you just shot the man an angry look.

"We'll talk about this later" he whispered walking by you out of the room, you now looked at your confused sister

"What is he doing here?" you gave her an 'I don't know' look as the Captain approached.

"So, do you think you can help him?" Steve looked really concerned about his friend. Honestly, you didn't exactly knew what you could do to help that didn't involve controlling his mind, just like HYDRA, but you could try.

"I'll do my best, Cap, don't worry" he smiled fondly to you, thanking you with a head nod, now it was Thor and Clint who shot you worried looks

"I don't know what Loki is doing here, you know your brother does as he damn pleases, i don't have a dog tag around his neck and for the last damn time, i cannot control him" the words spitted on a defensive mood made Clint smirk.

"Am I sensing a competition in between nutheads?" Tony comment made you roll your eyes, looking one last time to the Winter Soldier inside his chamber before walking out, Natasha walking after you.

"I need full access to those chambers, and tell Stark to call back his trained dogs, i don't want anyone besides me and the subject in there" the elevator doors closed and your sister asked the AI to take you both to her floor on the tower.

" _Sestra_ , the winter soldier is a dangerous weapon, I am not comfortable in leaving you alone with him."

"Nat, you need to trust me in this. You trust me with Loki and he is a goddamn GOD" your sister's fears were really bothering you.

"Yeah, and let's see where it got you" now she was being just plain old sister, mocking to the fact that you and Loki had this ...thing... back then. Her smirk was as mischievous as the Asgardian himself.

"Shut up!" you held a small laugh, as the elevator stopped, you walked out to meet a person you never saw before on your sister's kitchen.

"Well hello, Mother Russia" what? Your confuse look said it all and Nat was just laughing.

"(Y/N) this is Sam Wilson. He's part or the team too" and what exactly is he doing in your kitchen sister? "You better behave Sam, she is my baby sister, respect"

"Oh Nat, I wouldn't DREAM of disrespecting such a pretty face. Now tell me the truth, you two were the actual cause of the whole America and Russia war right? I mean you ARE nuclear bombshells" is this guy for real Nat? You raised your eyebrow.

"Just ignore it, he'll stop" the man left a hurt 'hey' after the orders of ignoring him "and why on earth are you eating my food, Wilson?"

"I wanted strawberries" he shrugged. Nat took the fruit out of his hands, under protest.

You walked to what always was your room there and whined at the sight of more trouble waiting for you, sitting patiently on the bed. All you needed, a god with daddy issues

"Please come back later I got a headache and work to do" in a blink of an eye you were pressed against the door, his face inches from your own, one of his cold hands holding your chin up.

"I think you must have forgotten i am not one of your brainless midgardians, pet." Loki was musing over your face, his voice a sweet whisper "you cannot tell me what to do, with your powers or your pretty eyes" you freed yourself from him, walking towards your bed and laying down, eyes closed.  
His eyes were still on you, you could feel it.

"What do you want, Loki?” he was still near the door, watching you, it would be creepy if it wasn’t …well, Loki.  
  
“Well, dear, I know I do not want you near that animal…” Loki made his way to your bed, ghosting over you.  
  
“Stop calling the poor guy an animal, you know how hard Tony can be on people… he needs help” you made the motion to sit up but Loki forced you to stay down, under him.  
  
“I said I don’t want you near him, pet” his words were sharp, and his glaze at you was even sharper  
  
“I am not your pet, and you can not tell me what to do Laufeyson” on a quick move you locked your legs around him, turning you both over and now you were on top, straddling Loki. He had that mischievous smile but you knew better finding a blade you always kept with you, pointing the blade at the pulsing point on his throat.  
  
“Oh but are we having fun already?” his eyes were sparkling at you, the intense green getting dark with lust as you got down to his ear level.  
  
“You better get out of here and let me do my job, or I swear I will rip your guts out with my own hands, asgardian” you lightly bit his earlobe and could hear him chuckle under you.  
  
“Oh I do love you” he was still laughing as you got off from him, sitting on the edge of your bed again  
  
“GET OUT!” you couldn’t help but laugh too, throwing a pillow but Loki managed to disappear before it could hit him.  
  
  
  
It was way passed midnight and you couldn’t sleep. Books didn’t help either. You were worried about the guy, the Winter Soldier. Could he be so bad? There was so much fear on his mind, so much confusion. He was not like Loki, who had his porpoise, he was lost.  
  
Before you knew, you were going to his cell again, this time with hot chocolate and some comforters and pillows, since you didn’t see any type ofblankets or anything there.  
  
The man was sitting on the corner of his cell, some guards were outside the door but you managed to make them believe you weren’t there, courtesy of your mind training.  
  
“Bucky, isn’t it?” he didn’t look up, his eyes were on the floor, but you knew his mind was far away. “hey, do you mind if I sit here?” as you took a sit on the floor next to him, you noticed his breath get shallow, and he started to shake. Another panic attack.  
  
Bucky wouldn’t say a word to you, even though you try to calm him down, he wouldn’t even look up to you and would avoid your eyes if you try to reach him, so you decided to get your distance, still inside the cell.  
  
“Hey, I got you hot chocolate, I don’t know how they are treating you here so I made it… and this is in case you get cold or something” you left the pillows and comforter by his side watching the man still like a stone, only knowing he was listening because of the light tremors.  
  
You spend minutes there, just watching, not saying a single word and seeing him ignore everything. _What did Hydra do to you boy?_  
As you felt yourself getting cold and tired, you decided it was time for you to go back to your room and try to sleep, the plan was start therapy sessions with Bucky in the morning.  
  
“I’m going to my room now, but I see you in a few hours, okay? Try to get some sleep Bucky, please” this time you were able to reach those blue eyes blown with fear and confusion “I’m going to help you” his eyes were locked on yours now, for a moment. You try your best to look and sound calming and confident to him, he needed to feel safe.  
  
As you were walking out of his cell, you heard him moving a bit, his body making a sound against the wall.  
  
“Thank you” it was not more than a weak whisper, he was looking at you on the door. The until now untouched mug of hot chocolate on his hands and in that moment you wanted nothing more than take him out of there.  
  
  
  
Yep, you needed a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always commets are more than welcome


	3. About Me & You and crazy Russian people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little about character upbringing. and cuteness, and feels.  
> and big sister Natasha
> 
> TW: mentions of violence ans extreme cuteness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as i wrote back then and i quote 
> 
> " mostly of the idea from this chapter was another story i wanted to write but i just got stuck with this idea for the female character so i decided to introduce it here, i hope it does not get weird.
> 
> Enjoy you Shawarma and your feelings.
> 
> Also, listen to a band called Post Modern Jukebox, they do covers of popular songs in a vintage style. i think Bucky would like them and I listen to they covers nonstop writing this.
> 
> Also Robbers by 1975"

“Did you tell him?” Natasha was sitting on the couch on her living room, in the dark. It made you jump off you feet  
  
“GEEZ NAT, YOU ALMOST KILLED ME HERE” you hand was now at your chest, you breath uneven. She walked to you, arms crossed on her chest.  
  
“You were on the containment room with Barnes, did you tell him?” _how does she? Oh… JARVIS of course._ You sighed, going for a glass of water, you sister still waiting your answer, you knew she wouldn’t give up.  
  
“I didn’t, okay? I don’t know if I even will… How could he ever trust me if I tell him ‘Oh you know I also am an HYDRA murder weapon, just like you, let’s cry our hearts out cuz guess what? They wanted us to breed like animals. Also, I killed the other GIRLS they put me up against” you had tears in yours eyes. Natasha knew it still affected you, how you were trained. You went beyond the Red Room, you had it worse than her and she still blame herself for that.  
  
“Hey Nat…” you looked in direction of the noise and saw Bruce getting out of your sister’s room, only in his boxers. “Oh sorry…” it was as fast as a second, the moment the doctor saw you he ran back into your sister’s room and now it was your time to questionably look at her.  
  
“Don’t” she warned, smirking at your face before giving her back at you towards the bedroom “you should tell him you know, maybe he’ll connect with you or something”  
  
  
  
 _Maybe I should…_  
  
 _Maybe…_  
  
  
  
  
Days passed as you worked with Bucky, therapy sessions and countless hours of just sitting there with him, in silence. It took you actually more than a week of daily 3 hour long sessions to make him even speak to you, even though from day one he would only eat anything if it was you who give it to him. He didn’t trust anyone else.  
  
After almost two weeks of complete silence by him you started to bring your acoustic guitar to the room and would play some songs you liked. You noticed Bucky liked especially when you did that, he would close his eyes and have a light smile on his face, well, if you could not talk to him you would at least make him feel slightly better.  
  
“You like music, right?” he couldn’t see but you were smiling, you had just played an old lullaby your mother, and then later, Natasha would sing to you when you were afraid. It worked everytime  
  
“ I like you singing, _nevesta (bride)_ ” he opened his eyes and it surprised you when he looked into your eyes and smirked. “I shouldn’t but I remember seeing you, you were so young…I thought you were dead”  
  
“You are mistaken me for someone else, Barnes” you tried your hardest to keep your voice steady in your lie, but this only made him smirk at you, you never called him Barnes.  
  
 _“Kak budto ya ne pomnyu tebya, detka? (as if I did not remember you, babygirl)”_ Bucky was not sit on his bed, looking at you on the chair near him, the cold steel blue eyes focused on you.  
  
“ _Ostanovit! (Stop it)”_ you weren’t ready to open up to the Winter Soldier yet, you had build a cocoon around yourself from your past and now he was sitting inches away from you  
  
“English please, this session is being recorded” JARVIS voice came along into the room, making you break eye contact with the soldier.  
  
“Let’s make a deal, I’ll tell you everything about me, and you start at least answering to my questions… I promise I won’t hurt you, ” you said looking back at him, making the man scoff  
  
“You couldn’t even if you tried babygirl…” _oh you really wanna bet?_ You just rolled your eyes.  
  
“What do you want to know?” long, deep breaths were in and out of your chest. You never talked about your past, not even to your sister. She knew what she had to know, not whatever she wanted to.  
  
“Are you here to kill me?” _what kind of question is that?_  
  
“No, Bucky, I am not here to kill you, I am here to help you. Natasha is indeed my sister and yes, I am one of the good guys” he was afraid of you? _Afraid?_  
  
“Were you erased too? Your mind?” The pain in his eyes were visible, and you felt guilt  
  
“No, I was not. I had a different… mental training. They thought a woman would be a better soldier if she could use persuasion”  
  
“So do you remember…what did they do to you?” he whispered after a long pause and you just agreed with your head trying not to cry with the memories “I remember when I saw you fight the other girls… they never thought you would make it, you know? They thought you were gonna die on the first one, babygirl, and yet… you fought them all. I remember hearing you sing in your cell…” _an stupid Russian lullaby,_ that of all things was what gave you away  
  
“I didn’t fight them James, I killed them, I killed other ELEVEN girls, they were 14, 15 years old, and I killed them” tears went down your cheeks as you remember the day he mentioned.  
  
“You were a kid too, you did what you had to do, to survive” _that’s how you deal with it, then?_  
  
“What came next was even worse…” you cringed at the thought, closing your eyes for a second “my leg… they… they ripped it off, James, now its vibranium, like your arm… they wanted us to be ‘the perfect HYDRA couple’” as you said the words you ripped part of your pants off, so he could see your right prosthetic leg a red star like his on your thigh right above the knee, followed by smaller stars up the thigh “They didn’t even sedate me, they just ripped it off, like animals. I was 14 years old, James, I was a kid. And… and they would beat me up, tear me apart, they raped me more times that I can remember so I would ‘feel nothing’” now you were fully crying, those memories were kept so deep inside you, you wish you never had to bring them up again, but if it meant that Bucky would finally trust you, then you would go there.  
  
“They called you The Bride, they asked me if I was pleased with you… did I… did I ever… hurt you?” You could see he was truly worried, haunted by his past. You denied, watching him let out a breath in relief.  
  
“We never actually met, I mean, you saw me that time but never… we never met in person before. You went to a mission right after they picked me, then, I went to trainings and sent to missions… when I was 19 SHIELD found me on a mission in Brazil, Nat was there… and she rescued me, she brought me to Fury…”  
  
“I always thought they killed you…” his voice was low as you could see his mind went far “I am glad they didn’t, then”  
  
“I still have the nightmares …that’s why I knew you wouldn’t be sleeping when we first met, I still can’t sleep right. It haunts us, their faces…” you noticed Bucky’s eyes were on your metal leg now, fixed, his jaw clenching “You can touch it, go on” a small smile left your lips as you said these words, noticing him blushing slightly. It took a few minutes in silence for Bucky to slowly drive his metal hand to your leg, tracing the details.  
  
“I don’t understand why they did this to you, you were perfect…” his eyes met yours as he spoke and you could feel the heat in your face. You were far than perfect.  
  
“They wanted non-human super soldiers, James. They made a whole army but only a few of us survived the serum” of course he didn’t know that. He was more brainwashed than a living being could bare and still, he was there. Sane.  
  
“Are we the only ones left?” there was fear in his words. You could feel it.  
  
“As far as I know… a few died in battle with SHIELD, others were killed by inside people…I don’t know” before you knew Bucky pulled you into his arms, your first reflex were try to fight it but you realized it was…a hug? So you let it be, hugging him back and stroking his long hair, his muscles relaxed little by little.  
  
“They won’t hurt you, never again, I will die before I let them touch you again, _detka (babygirl)_ ” his words sounded odd… but comforting, and you got yourself inhaling the scent of his skin, feeling weirdly…safe.  
  
“They cannot hurt any of us, James, never again” you said smiling as he let go of you “I promise you that. You will be fine” he agreed, his face like a lost puppy “Do you trust me now?”  
  
“Will you keep on playing songs for me?” his face went full player again and you had to laugh _how does he do that?_  
  
“I will do better, I will bring you an iPod or something, full of songs, what do you like to listen?” the mood was light once again, and you noticed that slowly, Bucky was letting his guard down with you. He gave you his shoulders.  
  
“Surprise me, I guess…” you agreed, getting up from your chair, Bucky held your arm on a reflex and you looked at his eyes, silently asking you to stay.  
  
“I have to go now, I have a meeting with Fury.” He left your arm go, saddened. “Everything gets better when the sun goes down” you whispered these words the lowest you could and almost singing, so JARVIS wouldn’t really get the code you gave Bucky that you’d be back that night, his smile was back on his face now, as he got your acoustic guitar on his side on the bed and started analyzing it, trying the strings.  
  
The only people who knew you were coming to visit Bucky outside your sessions were your sister and Bruce, Natasha even helped you trick JARVIS since she knew more about hacking than you. You needed time with Bucky that was not monitored by Tony Stark. There was nothing much really, you would just bring him some comfort food or some movie to watch so he could relax his mind a bit. You particularly liked showing him Disney movies. There was enough pain in his life, he deserved the fairytale.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Did you?” Natasha opened her mouth as you went back to your floor to get ready to meet Fury  
  
“Yes, Nat, I did okay. I did told the Winter Soldier that I was specially designed to be his fucking bride, like a Dr. Frankenstein monster or something” you spilled the words walking towards your room without noticing there was someone else on the floor.  
  
“Oh but you are so much prettier than Frankenstein…” Tony, of course. He didn’t know about your past until now. Fury, Maria, Clint and Natasha helped you keep it a secret from the rest of the Avengers, since you thought they knowing you were _enhanced_ would only bring you trouble.  
  
“Frankenstein is the Doctor, Stark.” You corrected him, rolling your eyes, his were on your prosthetic leg. “Stop staring at me like I’m a lab rat, please?”  
  
“Can me and Dr. Banner take a look at it in the labs?” Tony was not closer to you, holding the urge to touch the metal “Is it really vibranium? Can we study it? How’s the movement and feeling deal with it?” His hand was now on your leg as he kneeled down in front of you as you kicked him, who fell on his butt on the floor.  
  
“Never touch me without my permission, Stark, EVER” you hated it and you hated especially when it was on your leg. It was just a no, never, don’t do it. You left them and locked yourself on your room again.  
You spent hours browsing your music collection and making a playlist for Bucky, including some songs from the 40’s and some modern stuff you liked. You had no idea what would he like so it was a huge mix, avoiding extremes. You also included a playlist of soothing sounds, you know you thanked yourself for having them on your panic attacks and nightmare nights.  
  
  
  
It was already dark outside when Natasha knocked on your door, you let her in without getting out of your laptop.  
  
“What are you doing? The guys got take out from that Shawarma place Tony likes…” Nat sit on your bed, watching your focused face.  
  
“I’m making a playlist for Bucky, he likes music” you smiled looking at her and her eyebrow raised  
  
“So, you guys are getting really well together I see” _I see what are you doing here_ , you turned yourself to face your big sister  
  
“Natasha Alianovna Romanoff, I see what you are doing here and no, do not start” she got up from your bed and smiled, that evil big sister smile  
  
“Okay, _detka (babygirl),_ I will not” she winked at you, playing with the way Bucky referred to you earlier. “I am just afraid this is going to be Loki all over again, I mean, you were meant to be with the Winter Soldier…”  
  
“Yes, picked at a War Arena, by HYDRA. Stop it Natasha, there’s nothing to be about this, I am helping James, that’s what Stark, you, Rogers, that’s what you guys wanted…” she agreed with a head motion “Now let’s go eat, god forbid we let Lord Stark of New York waiting” you sister rolled her eyes at the way you called Tony  
  
“Give the guy a chance, Stark is not that bad…” for a playboy maybe.  
  
“He is too touchy…” you whined, closing your laptop and signalizing the door.  
  
“Okay okay, Czarine (Y/N) Alianovna Romanoff, I asked Bruce to snuggle up some Shawarma to your non touchy boyfriend too, it’s in the oven.” You would protest but Bruce was waiting on the hallway and you just looked the maddest you could at your sister.  
  
“How can you stand her Bruce? I swear I can’t…” the doctor just laughed at your comment, remaining silent. He knew better than to piss Natasha off.  
  
“It’s called being a big sister. Stop crying like a baby about it, you know you love me” she bragged on the elevator. She’s right, you did loved her.  
  
  
  
  
It was after midnight when everyone finally was asleep and you sneaking into Bucky’s room, Shawarma, French fries and a Coke in hand. He was reading, and smiled softly as you closed the door behind you and did your tricks.  
  
“What is in the bag?” He asked, accepting it from your hands as you sit by his side on the bed.  
  
“it’s food, Shawarma, it ’sfrom Middle East if I’m not mistaken. Tony is crazy about it.” Your smile grew wider as you saw a smiling Bucky stuffing his face with fries.  
  
“I miss hot dogs… and McDonald’s” he said, finishing to swallow the potato. _Oh American boy_  
  
“I can possibly do something about it” you laugh lightly seeing now he had his mouth full of the sandwich and closed his eyes in delight “You really liked it, don’t you?”  
  
“I miss food, good food, not war food and pills… real food.” Sadness hit you by hearing his words, he was so damaged he missed being able to eat. That was horrible.  
  
“I’m going to start bringing you more stuff, I know you don’t eat what other people bring you…” he seemed ashamed of his acts, looking at the food in his hands again.  
  
“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I just... I can’t trust it, it’s like war… inside me” his mind was still confused about being kept in the Stark Tower, and being held in a room with guards was not the best way to make him feel comfortable.  
  
“Hey, I also brought you music, I hope you liked it.” You got an iPod from your pocket and handed to him, not before showing him how to turn it on and off and how to use it.  
  
“Thank you.” Bucky always said like he meant it, looking straight into your eyes. “not for this, for the food… thank you, for being here. Thank you for helping me, I know I don’t deserve it…I couldn’t help you with HYDRA” again the guilt in his eyes.  
  
“You didn’t even know me back then, James, it’s okay, you don’t need to thank me. That’s what friends are for, right?” he shrugged, finishing his Coke  
  
“I don’t have friends apart from you and Steve. Steve comes here when he can” you knew that, Steve would also talk about it for countless hours. “and I were not very good with any” again the heavy guilt and pain on those steel eyes.  
  
“Stop it James, you are great. What you did when they controlled you is not your fault. You were a victim of Hydra as much as any of us…” there was a piece of hair covering his eyes and you couldn’t control yourself to push it back behind the man’s ear. Your touch made the soldier freeze and you realized no one of you liked unwarned touches “I am sorry…” you mumbled bracing yourself and Bucky looked at his own hands for a time.  
  
“It’s fine” his mumble was even worse than yours. The silence between you could be cut with a knife.  
  
“Hey, how come when we are in therapy you never talk to me. Is there a night Bucky and a day Bucky?” you tried to break the tension raising an eyebrow at him, who looked up at you  
  
“I know now they cannot see us” Bucky knew you had your tricks with the cameras in his room. “You change too” that was true, you had to agree. “If there wasn’t for you I would have no idea if it’s day or night or anything…” the room he was kept had no windows and he was almost never allowed to go outside, only with Steve and two more SHIELD agents. It was ridiculous.  
  
“About that I have a plan, but you HAVE to start cooperating more on the sessions, so Tony can see you are not a monster James, please” you used your best puppy eyes on him, but the wrong words.  
  
“Maybe I am, maybe this is where I belong” he leaned his head back, on the wall, and you saw his hands clench. Now _you_ wanted to hug him.  
  
“We all deserve a second chance, James, I believe in you. “ he opened his eyes again and looked at you, the ghost of a smile on his lips.  
  
“Of course you do, you are my bride” _oh shut up_ you hit him with the pillow making him laugh lightly. The rest of the conversation was about the books he was reading and how _someone_ got him a Playboy magazine, of course you knew it was Tony and you were pissed, but he said he didn’t look at it. _Ok, Barnes._ Before you knew you were yawning and leaning on his shoulder, both sitting on the bed backs against the cold wall.  
  
“I have to go get some sleep” you remember saying that, at least. But what you felt was a warm blanket around your shoulders and you being slowly led to lay down.  
  
“ _son, detka… ya pozabochus' o tebe (sleep, babegirl, I’ll take care of you)”_ a husky whisper ghosted your ear before you blacked out in your sleep.  
  
Hours later you slowly got conscious about your surroundings, this was not your bed. This bed was horrible, your back hurt. As your eyes opened you saw Bucky sitting by your side, his Winter Soldier face on. _What did just…?_  
  
“James…” you tried your best to sit up fast, but your whole body hurt “God this bed is horrible, that’s why you don’t sleep. Tony will hear a word or two about this” you were so bothered complaining you didn’t noticed Bucky’s expression softened… _and did he just took of an ear plug?_  
  
“I’ve had worse” now you felt bad at complaining. You slept on his bed and he stood awake. He should be complaining  
  
“You shouldn’t have letting me fall asleep here…” you were really embarassed now.  
  
“You were tired… I can stay awake” _this doesn’t mean you should_ “it was not more than a couple of hours” HOURS? OH MY GOD NATASHA IS GOING TO KILL ME  
  
“I have to go, Nat is going to kill me… you… I … thanks, and sorry… and I see you later. ‘kay, bye James.” You made a beeline from his bed to the door and the elevator, not paying attention to the slightly smiley James Barnes behind you on that room.  
  
  
  
  
And of course Natasha was waiting for you, she was actually making coffee. It was almost morning for what you presumed.  
  
“Don’t start” you just pointed at her, who scoffed and gave you her shoulders as you ran to your own room “oh and Tony will listen to me about James' bed, believe me” you yelled at your sister, from your own soft bed.  
  
  
“His bed already, _babygirl_?” you groaned in response and could hear your sister laugh. She _did_ had fun with this didn’t she?


	4. Welcome to your new life. There's Spaghetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> domistic! Avengers
> 
> also nat bwing a badass.

“WAKE UP STARK” you screamed, by the side of Tony’s bed. It was still too early for him and you swear he jumped at your screaming.  
  
“What is wrong with you?” he whined, taking off his night mask – because of course Tony Stark wears a night mask “Are we under attack of aliens from another dimension again?” you stood still, arms crossed and full fighting face on.  
  
“Oh I am sorry, how was sleeping beauty’s rest in his comfortable queen sized bed? Because you know, some of us have something that SHOULDN’T EVEN BE CALLED A BED” you raised your voice again, making Tony cringe.  
  
“What are you talking about? Every room has a bed just like mine…”  
  
“I am talking about Bucky, the way you keep him in inhuman. He represents no harm for you or anyone else, Tony. There’s no reason he should be kept in a cell like that after all this time.” Tony now rolled his eyes at you, he didn’t trust Bucky yet.  
  
“He could snap and go crazy…” _that’s your argument, Stark?_  
  
“He will not, I guarantee you that” now Tony looked curious at you, and made a motion to speak but you were faster “Steve and I will keep him under constant watch, just… take him out of there. There’s room in Steve’s floor. There’s… lots of place in this Tower he can stay. If you do not want him to lose it, keeping him in a cell will not work.” Tony would open and close his mouth but no sound would leave his lips so you appealed you your mental persuasion and puppy eyes “Please, Tony, I will let you and Barnes play laboratory rat with me if that’s what it takes.” A light came to Tony’s face. You knew you would regret it, but if being Stark’s lab pet meant that they would take Bucky out of that cell, you did gladly.  
  
“He can not wander around the Tower, this doesn’t mean that. He can stay in Steve’s floor, and train in the gym with you or Steve. He would not be left alone in any circumstances out the designed area. Your smile was wider than your face and it hurt your cheeks as you agreed. “And both you AND HIM will be studied in the labs by me and Bruce.”  
  
“No invasive exams?” you bit your lip trying to control the smile and he mumbled an agreement  
  
“No invasive. Just physical and blood test.” You jumped on Tony, hugging him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you” you kissed his face a couple of times and jumped out of the bed, running for the door “Sleep thigh, Tony, I’ll see you later” you waved from the bedroom door  
  
“Oh, now you let me sleep, you punk? You heard him screaming at you as you ran to the elevators and asked JARVIS to get you to the cells.  
“Let Captain Rogers know Bucky Barnes will be taken to his floor, JARVIS please” you almost couldn’t contain your happiness by saying so to the AI.  
  
  
Bucky was awake, of course, he was doing push ups on the ground when you entered his room and he seemed surprised by your presence there so soon.  
  
“Is it time for therapy already? I thought it was later…” He got on his feet and you could not contain your smile anymore.  
  
“Gather your stuff, I am taking you out of this hell hole” you started to help getting Bucky’s stuff and you noticed he just stood there, eyes fixed at you, you felt stupid. _He did wanted to get out of here, right?_

  
Before you could say anything you noticed the space between you getting smaller and his arms lightly around you, before he crushed into another hug, you smiled against his chest, hugging him back.  
  
 _“Bol’shoye spasibo, detka. (thank you so much, babygirl)”_ you noticed his voice always sounded huskier in Russian, but it was also strangely comforting to you.  
  
“ _Vse budet v poryadke, Bucky, seychas ya zdes' (everything will be fine, Bucky, I am here now)_ ” There was something about you speaking in Russian with each other that changed both of you. It made you feel closer to him, probably from your mental training… Hydra used to make you listen to the Winter Soldier’s voice over and over again. Usually were commands and war phrases, but it was intended to make you feel closer to him. In your rational mind you knew this was some crazy form of Stockholm Syndrome, but you could not shake the feeling off… the feeling your real home was wherever the Winter Soldier was.  
  


  
  
“You need help with these?” you asked as Bucky gathered his books and his diary. He denied “There’s a much better bed there, you will be able to sleep and take a decent bath …and eat…” you smiled walking him down to the elevator. “You are staying with Steve. It was the only way Tony would agree with this. We are also going to get some blood tests with them, me and you.” Bucky froze his steps behind you, the fear of being on a lab again. You guided his face to look straight at you, so you could calm him about it “Don’t worry, James, I will be there with you everytime. They will not hurt you, they will not control you, I promise you that. You are free now.” _Well, as much as this represents freedom, I guess…_ You noticed him calming down and getting back into walking with you to the elevator.  
  
The way to Steve’s floor was silent, you would hear his breathing getting more and more shallow as the right floor approaches and you slightly jump off your feet when you felt his human looking for yours. _He was afraid, he was afraid of being let out because he was afraid of his mind_.  
  
“I will not leave you, James, I promise you that” your grip on his hand went a bit tighter when you said these soothing words and finally you were in Steve’s floor.  
  
Steve was probably training, since it was empty. You guided Bucky to what would be his room and a warm feeling spread inside your chest when you saw the man’s face. Stark luxury could be impressive, you knew.  
  
“There’s a bathroom just behind that door, and a closet in the other. We need to get you clothes, by the way. If you need anything, you can ask JARVIS or call me” you pointed the telephone on the night stand beside the bed. “I wrote down my numbers there, if you need me anytime. And we will keep our therapy here, nothing changes on that”  
  
“Are you leaving?” Bucky looked genuinely sad for a second and you denied.  
  
“I am gonna make you some food, Soldier, real food” the smile on your face could not be contained when you saw the excitement spark in his eyes “Go take a shower while I cook, there’s some clothing I got from Steve in the closet and new towels in the bathroom.” He agreed and you walked to the door “Welcome home, _lyubimaya (darling)_ ”  
  
You were already in the kitchen for longer than an hour when you heard the footsteps towards you. You couldn’t blame Bucky for taking so long on the shower, you did the same when you first came into the tower, Tony had some amazing showers and you figured Bucky hadn’t had a decent one in well… years.  
  
“Are you alright?” you asked watching him sit on the counter next to you, his wet hair framing his face and a slight scent of musk in the air. Okay, _maybe_ you did choose your favorite bath products for him on porpoise.  
  
“Do you think I should cut my hair?” he asked with a confused face and you held back a laugh while working on the food. “I used to have short hair, back in the day… but I kinda like it now” _The Winter Soldier is wondering about a hair cut? Really?_  
  
“I like it, it looks beautiful…honestly, I myself have a thing for long haired guys” you thanked every god you knew for being with your back turned to him, because you could swear you blushed. It was the truth, though. “But we can get it cut if you prefer…” you turned around now with a spoon full of the home made tomato sauce you were making. Bucky’s eyes were on you now, as you approached him with the spoon. “Taste it!” you almost had to shove it into his mouth , making you both laugh “how is it?”  
“It’s amazing… really.” That childlike smile back on his face and you could feel your heart ache with the sweetness. “What are you making?”  
  
“Spaghetti. Do you like it?” now you noticed you didn’t ask James what he would like to eat, stupid brain.  
  
“I haven’t had it since… the 40’s I guess…” again an ache in your heart, but now it was about thinking of all stuff Bucky hadn’t had the chance to have and taste and try since before the war, tears fought their way to your eyes but you kept them down, going back to your cooking.  
  
“Today is your day off, James, we are going to eat and do whatever you want, inside this floor” you quickly added reminding that Stark still had that stupid rule.  
  
“This means I get you all day for myself, doll?” you could feel his smirk in your back, burning.  
  
“Yes, get used to it, we are a team here” it was hard not to swoon over Bucky. Besides him being extremely attractive, since you met something inside of you just wanted to be with him, probably weird Hydra stuff. That’s what you told yourself and wanted to believe.  
  
  
Clint, Bruce, Nat and Steve joined you for lunch and Bucky helped you put up the table. You could feel Nat’s eyes on you and you knew the speech that was coming that night when she had the chance.  
  
“This is really good (Y/N)” Steve said when he first tried your food, you smiled at him. He was a nice guy.  
  
“Yeah, how come Nat doesn’t cook like this?” Clint said and received a punch on the arm from your sister  
  
“Who do you think this little brat learned from?” Clint chew down his food before looking up at her again  
  
“Well, I know for a fact it wasn’t you” saying that he started to run from a really pissed Natasha. Clint and her were like two kids with murder weapons.  
  
“Aren’t you going to protect your girl, Dr. Banner?” Steve asked Bruce, who just looked at the two agents running around  
  
“I’ve seen enough of their fights to not get into it” Bruce took a sip of his glass and you all looked back to see a Hawkeye on the floor, arm twisted on his back, screaming. Nat over him.  
  
“WHO IS A GOOD COOK?” She demanded.  
  
“You are Nat, you are” Clint cried, she twisted his arm more  
  
“AND WHO IS MY LITTLE BITCH?” now Nat had a smirk on her face, her knee forcing Clint’s face in the ground  
  
“I am, I am you little bitch” she then let go a crying Barton and stood up, readjusting her clothes and coming back at the table with a smile on her face.  
  
“You gotta teach them” she said to you, Barton was laid on his back holding his arm against his chest now.  
  
“Are we still going to play laser tag with Tony later?” Clint cried out and Nat made a sound while sipping a glass of wine  
  
“Oh yeah, Tony wants to play laser tag…it’s like training but fun. Two teams, are you guys coming?” She looked at you and Steve. Bucky was sitting in between you two.  
  
“I don’t see why not” Steve said smiling back “it’s going to be a fun practice.” Nat agreed and went back to her food.  
  
“What is laser tag?” Bucky whispered to you “Am I going?”  
  
“Laser tag is a game, like …tag… but with laser guns. And of course you are going. You are the Winter Soldier, I want you on my team” you chuckled and Bucky held a smile, going back to his food, gosh the boy could eat.  
  
You finished your lunch and Clint was doing the dishes ‘because he is nat’s little bitch’. Bucky was a little tense around the others, quiet. Tony had called Steve and Bruce went back to the lab. Now it was you, Bucky, Nat and Clint there.  
  
“Do you guys mind me and Bucky going to our therapy session? I mean we better do it soon if we want to play any laser tag later” your sister agreed and you smiled.  
  
“Be ready at 7!” She told as you guided Bucky back to his room  
  
“Are they like… a thing?” Clint asked Nat as you left them. She took another sip of her wine before a sigh let her lips.  
  
“No, but they will be… and my fear is that this is exactly what HYDRA wants” she whispered the last part to herself  
  
“Better than Loki, I give her that” Clint shrugged going back to the dishes.  
  
“Is it?” Nat couldn’t help but wonder, looking at the door closed where you disappeared, but Clint didn’t listen.  
  
  
  
  
As you entered the room you asked JARVIS to open the big windows, it was a cloudy, but nice day in New York. Bucky went straight to lean on the open window, catching the sunlight in his skin.  
  
“I figured you’d like some fresh air” she chuckled at his blissful expression and handed him a spoon, holding an Ice Cream container with the other hand. “I hid it here before they came for lunch, I am not sharing my Ben & Jerry’s with anyone who does not deserve it” you opened the ice cream, getting a spoon full  
  
“Do I deserve it?” Bucky asked, now looking at the goods in your hands and to your happy face.  
  
“Of course you do, it’s your day. It’s your new life” you smiled at him, making a sign for him to get ice cream too. “We have some asses to kick tonight in Laser Tag, don’t forget about it. You need energy” Bucky agreed, lightly laughing at your terms, before tasting the ice cream.  
  
“I know I haven’t had this since the 40’s” Bucky made the comment on the ice cream and just relaxing on the sun.  
  
“I wonder what else haven’t you had” your comment was innocent, really, but it made Barnes smirk at you and you noticed how wrong that could have sound “of food Barnes, don’t make it weird”  
  
“I am not, _detka_ , I am not” you stuffed your face with ice cream again to avoid the man, who went silent “do you realize that HYDRA’s dream project is gonna be put in action on a game?” he asked looking at the spoon and you looked back at him, curious. “Me and you working together… that was what HYDRA wanted… and we are going to play games together.”

“I realize we are so going to win…Now what will we get from Stark when we kick his sorry iron ass I wonder?” Bucky scoffed at your mischievous expression, turning his eyes back to the sky.

.


	5. Assassins Have Fun Too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE LASER TAG MATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
> FINALLY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was supposed to get a little longer but the rest just didn't ... quite fit. So the next one already on its way and with a surprise. <3 
> 
> Hope it didn't get too messy, i needed it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> mistakes are my own.

Later that afternoon your heard a knock on the door, after your “therapy session” with Bucky – eating ice cream and laughing and random stuff, you decided to go back to your room and take a quick shower while Steve and James catch up.

“We’re going for laser tag, (Y/N), you’re not marrying the guy” Nat yelled at you outside. Making you run to the door.

“Natasha!!” you covered your sisters’ mouth with your hands, she lightly bit you back.

“The guys are waiting, let’s go” she ruffled your hair your way to the elevator.

"Wait why are we going to the gym level?" you asked after Nat ordered JARVIS

"Tony build up the laser tag arena on the north & left wing of the gym, he said it'd useful for practice" Nat shrugged her shoulders and you just decided not to think of it. At least you could shoot something.

"There they are" Tony said out loud when you and your sister stepped out of the elevator. You try your best not to give Bucky a too big of a smile.

"Yeah yeah, whiny baby, ready to lose?" you said at him, Bucky, and Steve tried to hide a small laugh.

"Wait no... I don't think you get it. I'm Iron Man. I don't lose" his cocky smirk made you roll your eyes.

"I tell you one thing, Tin Man, I win and you let me get Bucky for a day. We go out, alone, not guards, not SHIELD, not your damn tech spies. You leave us alone for a day, deal?" you offered your hand to Tony, who was now pondering about it.

"On one condition” he paused himself before taking your hand “It’s you against us.” He said, point with his head at James. You pushed your hand back.

“That’s not fair, Stark, that’s two against six” _Tony Stark is a coward._ You felt the anger cripple up your neck, _not fair_.

“You’re super soldiers” Stark concluded

“Thor is a GOD, and there’s Steve, he’s pretty juiced up too” Tony just breathed out in annoyance.

“That’s our deal…” he said “You beat us, you win. You don’t accept it or lose… well, you lose darling” he smirked at you, your anger fuming up. 

“Stark…” it was Nat the one trying to moderate things now, she looked almost… scared?

“Deal” No one expected to hear Bucky’s voice as he looked at you for a minute and then Stark “Just try not to get to hurt, _Tin Man_ ” James gave his back to the rest of them, going to the area where the guns and vests were held. 

“It’s laser tag…” Stark leveled up his voice, so Bucky could hear it “It’s not supposed to hurt” James just looked at him over his shoulder, darkness in his eyes. You were about to join him on the preparations. 

________________________________

“Are you insane Stark?” Natasha pushed the man against the wall. 

“Possibly yeah, but the point?” Tony was now setting up the arena on a small screen from his wrist.

“You really are gonna put HYDRA’s top two murder weapons against us?” Her angry whisper showing just how much she didn’t agree on that. Stark looked up at the red-haired assassin.

“I thought she was your defenseless baby sister” Nat’s eyes were of pure anger. Steve noticed and approached the duo, listening. 

“She is, and she is also a murder weapon, an assassin, a _freaking_ super-soldier, she can snap, Tony, you know that, you know that deep inside she will go full-on _Winter Queen,_ I wouldn’t want to fight her alone, hell forbid fight her with her perfect match – Natasha was just throwing up the words, words you could listen as you were approaching them again to ask about details. 

“Ouch… so that’s how you feel, Nat?” You felt your face warming up and tears starting to form on the corner of your eyes. 

“(Y/N/)… _sestra_ , is not like that, I…  I just…” Tony was mouthing a _‘wow’_ while Natasha herself was trying to find the right words.

“Listen, let’s just play… I don’t know why I need to remind you this but I won’t go berserk over a game, Natasha…” the other woman whispered an _‘I’m sorry_ ’ with real hurt in her voice and you just looked at her before going after Bucky again. 

“Hey… ready?” your voice was trying to conceal the pain and tears, but it all came down when he looked at you, his eyes went from worried to cold in a millisecond.

“was it Stark?” his husky voice low, near you, making you hold him softly by the hand.

“Just… let’s win this, James, let’s get ourselves a date” you smiled the best you could at him, trying to forget your sister’s words at the same time you wanted so bad to kick her ass in this. Bucky smirked again, towering him over you. 

“Well, if it means we got a date, babygirl” you but your lip looking at him so close to you, so flirty. Then Natasha’s words hit you again. _Calm yourself, just don’t go there, you don’t really want this. Do you?_

In a matter of minutes, the teams were ready: You & Bucky vs Tony, Steve, Natasha, Sam, Thor, and Clint. Bruce was against this kind of practice, he said it’d make him nervous, so he was watching outside the arena you were supposed to play.

The lights went out and the lasers light in, music started playing so you couldn’t hear the other team’s footsteps. You are James were behind a wall, observing what you supposed to be Thor move. The guy was just too big for stealth.

“I don’t understand why we have to keep hidden…” Thor said getting up, you shot him right in the middle of the vest, lighting it up and hearing JARVIS saying he was out. “You midgardians do not know what is a fun wresting I tell you” – he buffed out, you winked at Bucky.

Your team kept a stealth mode for a pretty good time, and it made you tire the others out. Sam got distracted by lights and Clint just gave up, he was bored. Now it was 3 against 2.

“I’m tired of these games (Y/N)… get out here” Tony yelled from where he was hiding, you looked at Bucky.

“Patient is a virtue Stark” you said getting out of your corner and at the same time Bucky was behind Tony, shooting his vest with light. Before you could notice anything, Natasha went for Bucky, trying to get him down, as a reflex, you jumped where they were and pushed him down ducking for cover behind a structure, breathing heavily.

“ _prishlo vremya, detka (it’s time, babygirl)”_ Bucky looked at your eyes and something deep inside burned up, making you lean over for him, you paused taking a deep breath, it was… _magnetic_. Your lips found the Winter Soldier’s ones for a brief moment, closing your eyes and breathing him in again, his arms on the small of your back but the laser gun pointed and ready. 

“ _da, ser (yes, sir)”_ your smirk and the fire that now burned in you made his pupils blow dark, you heard him shot his laser gun on your back and turned around. Natasha, froze there, not even minding the game anymore. “Guess you were right, _sestra_ ” her words still hurting you. 

Your and Bucky’s next moves seemed rehearsed, they were fluid, you were fighting as one.  Steve was just as in awe as Natasha when he saw it, you both got him together, Bucky making his vest light up at last. 

“We won Stark” Your voice was loud as you noticed everyone on the compound now looking the soldiers who made the fight look like some sort of deadly dance. You took your lighting vest out and let the laser gun on the floor, James mimicked your gestures as you walked outside the laser arena “and Nat, I feel _fine_ , thanks for caring” your sister’s face was in shock. You felt James arm lighting touching yours and looked at him for a moment before walking again “We’ll get the weekend, Stark” no time for objections, you and Bucky were on the elevator again, going to his floor. 

“What the Hell was that?” Tony said after you left, Steve and Natasha too much in disbelief to do anything. 

"The Winter Storm" Nat whispered to herself, wide eyes "I need to get to Fury..." 


	6. Nothing Else Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure loving smut  
> nothing too graphic, just our general deal. 
> 
> also i love you's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the title said, this chapter and their love scene is inspired by Nothing Else Matters by Mettalica
> 
> (mistakes are my own, sorry)

The way up back to Steve and Bucky’s floor was silent; you were still breathing heavily, Bucky’s eyes on you.  The moment you close the door to the room you felt James getting closer, his usual self that only you could see. 

“You own me a date” his smirk getting the best of you, as his body pinned you. 

“It’s a weekend, cowboy” you laughed lightly at his player self, your arms going around his neck. Noticing he wasn’t toning it down and his face was getting closer to yours, his hands holding your waist in place, you bit your lip, _fuck them, you wanted this._

You let James’ lips find yours, now savoring every moment of it. The soft lips against yours, the subtle beard against your face, his warm tongue asking for permission on your mouth, against his cold metal hand on your waist. The kiss was not rushed, but deep and full, like old lovers meeting after a long time, famished for each other’s lips and touch. You pulled your legs up on Bucky’s waist, holding firmly as his hands were now cupping the back of your thighs, without breaking the kiss. There was something urgent and relieved on that kiss for both of you, at the same time it made your whole life make sense, all the pain, the blood spilled, all the loneliness, it ended now, on each other’s arms.

Y our back found the soft mattress of his bed, James towering over you, now only breaking the kiss to go for your neck and jawline, his human hand still respectfully on your waist while his metal arm gave him support. ‘ _Oh of course he is like, one hundred’_ . You laugh on the kiss, making Bucky look suspicious at you. 

“You can touch me, James” you whispered, looking into his lust blown eyes. 

“I don’t want to hurt you” his voice was almost hesitant, looking at all spots on your face before going for your eyes again. You lifted your head for a kiss, heated this time, biting his lip at the end, before focusing on his eyes again

“You won’t, we are the same, remember?” You slowly pushed his hand to your metal leg, Bucky heart raced for a moment, licking his lips before a wicked grin took his face. 

It was like a completely different person, James now kissed you with passion , his weight shifted on top of you and now he was in between your legs, holding them to his waist while he leaned down to kiss your collarbones and neck again, your hands now going for his long hair, pulling it firmly. He smirked at you, who had just bitten down his shoulders. 

“Take that clothes off, Soldier” you said, in a hurry to feel his body closer to yours, your stomach already flipping and the arousal between your legs giving you away. 

“Ladies first, _detka”_ and saying that he helped you with your shirt, unclasping your bra with his metal arm, making the cold material give you shivers. He took his shirt off next, in a hurry to get his hands back on your body. 

The moment Bucky’s hands found your breasts, you left out a moan. The man shifted between your legs “You look so beautiful like that, doll” his smirks would be the death of you, you were sure of it. His mouth was now working on one of your nipples as one hand took care of the other, all you could bring yourself to do was breath heavily, letting out soft moans. You could die right now and it would be perfect, his metal hand holding your ass tight, while his hips made ministrations against you and his mouth was on your body. 

“Stop teasing me James” you moaned when he started pulling down your pants and underwear slowly. His dark scoff was all you could hear. 

“I’m just enjoying the view” he said, darkly on your ear. 

All the air left your lungs in a very pleasuring way the moment James’ metal hand touched your wet core. The cold was surprisingly good and you could hear him groan in pleasure. 

“I guess I’m not the only one who’s been wanting this…” he licked his finger coated in your arousal, tasting every second of it “Fuck, you taste so good, doll” you felt yourself all hot and bothered already, this was probably the most beautiful vision you had ever laid your eyes on. James start kissing your prosthetic leg with all tenderness in the world, while grabbing your other one with strength enough to leave a mark. “You are perfect, perfect” he whispered, his hot breath hitting your core before his lips found its way. James was taking his time on you, as you were an expansive and rare dish and he wanted it to last forever. When he noticed your breath became shallow and the pulls on his hair became stronger, his fingers found his way inside you, making your back arch and he found just the right spot inside you. 

“Cum for me, babygirl, let me hear who’s the one making you feel all this” he commanded while his ministrations got faster and his lips found its way back to your clit. 

“Fuck James, James, James…” his name on your lips sounded to him like a prayer, like a redemption for all he has done, Bucky hold you on your orgasm, mesmerized by the beauty before him. 

As you opened your eyes again, your hand cupped his face, pulling him closer and tasting you on his lips. Your other hand was now working its way to open up the buckle on his pants. Bucky aligned himself with you, looking in your eyes before thrusting in a slow, deep motion, your inner walls getting used to him. He come down over you, your foreheads touching while he kisses your face.

“I love you, (Y/N)” again, whispered like a secret, fear in his eyes. You smiled, holding your emotion, he was otherworldly beautiful disheveled like this 

“I love you James” you whispered back, almost against his lips, the weight on your chest now making you flutter with happiness. He took your eyes for a couple of moments before starting to move in you, a slow, sensual way at first. This was not just sex, it was love making.

Bucky held your leg up on him with one hand and at the  headboard  with the other  as his thrust inside you started to get harder. You felt your second wave of orgasm near and crave your nails at his back, making the soldier growl and go faster. There was no more slow kisses now, you both were holding each other, teeth and nails. The human hand who was previously holding your leg now found its way to your neck, choking you just the right amount to make you smile. 

“Harder, soldier!” you growled on a smile, making Bucky lose it. Your second orgasm hit you like a bullet, making you scream your lovers name and tremble under him, you felt he was holding himself and now had allowed himself to be washed over by his own wave of pleasure, going even harder on you.

James let his body collapse on top of yours before starting to laugh, mischievously. You questioned him with your eyes. 

“We broke the bed” he made a funny face and you look up at the headboard, James’ hand had took a piece off, and there was a mark of this fist of the wall. You close your eyes.

“Stark is going to kill me” and laughed about it, not really worried. All you could feel now was love and the sense of being complete. James rolled to the side and pulled you to his chest, kissing your forehead. 

“That was also something I don’t remember having since the 40’s” he laugh before getting serious again, lifting your chin up to him “ya lyublyu tebya, detka _”_ _(I love you, babygirl)._

You kissed him again “I love you too,  American Boy” 


	7. The Apple Pie Life of James Buchanan Barnes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little over-the-top tooth-rotting fluff with the just right amout of smut in the end.  
> Enjoy your day as Mrs. Barnes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sprry for any mistakes i let slip  
> my internet connection at home is horrible right now and i posted from my phone. 
> 
> Thank for reading

You felt the morning light slowly hit your eyes as you woke up; the weight underneath you shifting from cuddling you to hide his face from the light. _Gosh, he was beautiful._ Some more minutes were wasted admiring the man beside you and every detail of him, the way he breathes, the way his hair fall down his face, his mouth slightly open, The scars down his shoulders and arm… You couldn’t quite shake the feeling of finally being… happy, complete. As you felt yourself getting overwhelmed with all the feelings and confusion again, you got up going to your morning routine, tossing in a Bucky shirt and went out to make some coffee.

The kitchen was empty, you couldn’t hear footsteps or anything on this floor and just assumed if Steve was already up he’d be in the gym. You started to make preparations for pancakes, coffee and some other breakfast goods, assuming Bucky would be hungry.

“Well, Good Morning (Y/N)” Steve came to the kitchen, covered in sweat.

“Morning, Cap!” you smiled at him “Breakfast will be ready soon, go get washed up” you pointed the spatula on the man’s room direction _‘yes ma’am’_. A few more minutes passed ‘til the smell of coffee took over the kitchen area, you turn around to set the final pancakes on the plate to see a brunette man by the arch of the door, watching you, arms crossed against his chest. “Good Morning, love, the smell of coffee woke you up?” you went closer to him, letting whatever it was on your hands on the kitchen counters.

“Actually, it was the absence of your scent that woke me up, doll” Bucky pulled you closer to him, as you threw your arms around his neck and lean in for a kiss, which was deepened until you could hear footsteps close to you. “I like the hair bun” you winked pointing at his hair.

“Good morning, Buck!” Steve passed both of you “Could you sleep better?” the blonde man asked, starting to put up the table.

“Absolutely, punk, I could really get used to this sleeping regimen” Bucky now side-eyes you, who held a small laugh in your chest.

“Well, I guess we could start training at gym at night then, if this wears you out… or you cloud go train with (Y/N)” Steve now smiled at you over his own shoulder, you smiled back trying not to blush, _was Captain America really that naive?_

“That would work like a charm” James eyes pierced you, looking you up and down again. You could feel the heat on your skin working its way up to your face.

“Okay, super soldiers, breakfast time” you said cutting up the conversation and sitting on the head of the table.

You tried to eat your breakfast while talking to the boys, but honestly, it was pretty hard to concentrate with Bucky’s metal hand up and down on your thigh. The son of a bitch didn’t even break a sweat while talking to Steve.

“You are awfully silent, dear, is everything alright?” Steve smiled at you, who took a sip at the coffee you were holding, Bucky looked at you with almost genuine interest in his eyes while his hand went for the inside of your thigh. The temperature difference between your skin and his and almost made you moan, but you managed to only smile and nod at Steve, who was just distracted by his phone ringing. “Sorry fellas, Fury wants to meet us, gotta go” Steve go up as fast as he could going to the door.

“Steve wait, I’m just gonna get dressed and go with you” You said, getting up as well. Steve stopped, hand on the back of his neck”

“Uh… yeah, why you and Bucky don’t start your weekend off earlier? It’s kind of a mission only thing…you don’t really have to...” _You cannot lie, Rogers._

“Sure, sure…” you straighten yourself up, shaking your head at him and making a hand gesture. _‘Great’_ your heard Steve mutter before going for the elevator, you sit down again, finishing the coffee on your mug.

“Something wrong, doll?” Bucky voice was delicate, making you wake up from your thoughts, he was watching you with concern, so you gave him a warm smile and kiss his lips softly.

“How do you feel about going out for a bit?” Bucky made an ‘I don’t know’ face in return “C’mon James, you heard the old man… we can start our weekend earlier…” now you were smirking at him, James pulled you for his lap.

“And what do you have in mind?” his eyes were curious to you.

“We need to get you some clothing…” he left a loud _‘uuuuugh’_ , making you laugh a little “what you can’t wear Steve’s clothes forever”

“I know, _detka,_ but I was hoping anything with you and me involved a little less clothing” he bit your neck a little and you slapped his chest “Okay, okay…” you both got up, cleaning the kitchen and getting ready next.

"Ready Mr. Barnes?" you asked getting your stuff and holding him by the arm. James smiled at you, he felt at home with you, he felt right.

You didn't talk to anyone on your way out of the building, only seeing some guards whisper on their communicators as you were walking out. If someone didn't know you, just looking from afar, it was easy to say you and James were a happy couple, whispering at each other. You only let go at his arm once you reached a fancy designer store you knew Stark used to get his clothing from.

"Welcome, beautiful couple, can I offer you any help or assistance?" the salesperson was politely smiling at you, looking at them and then at Bucky you broke the silence.

"Hi, we are looking at new clothes for my husband, right sweetheart?" James looks deeply into your eyes, agreeing with a head nod.

"And what type of clothing are you interested in, sir?" James opens and closed his mouth for a second, not knowing what to say. He only knew combat clothing for so long...

"Everything" you cut in, smiling big at the salesperson "Just bring everything" they agree and you signed for James to follow them, while you seat on a fancy sofa, biting your lip.

"Can I offer you some champagne, ma'am?" a woman offered you a trail of drinks, you politely accepted. It's going to be a good day.

Hours went by with Bucky coming out to show you an outfit, waiting for your response, and going back in again.

"Yes..." you smiled, lusting over the man the last time he came out to show you clothing. A well tailored full black set, pants, a shirt and a casual blazer. You pulled him closer to you, looking up and down. "We'll take everything" you turned to the salesperson near you, handing him a credit card "Put it on Mr. Stark's tab"

“Like what you see, Missus Barnes?” James pulled you close to him, his eyes going from your lips to your eyes  
“You look good in black, keep it on” was your sassy answer. Freeing yourself from him only to go get the credit card back and asking for the clothing to be delivered asap on the Tower.

You walked a few more blocks on the fancy street, looking at the stores and just enjoying your fake lives for a minute. Bucky stopped you in front of a Dress Store, a designer one.

“You should get yourself a pretty dress or two, _wife_ ” he said pulling you by your waist and hugging you from behind, looking at the models in display, you shrugged.

“Courtesy of Mr. Stark I guess.” and entered the store. Playing the married couple facade again, not that it was very hard for any of you.

“Get this beautiful lady anything she wants” James smiled at you, pretending to be shocked as he talked to the saleswoman.

“But _sweetheart_ …” you faked your best surprised voice, the girl helping almost swoon over the two of you.

“You deserve, my Queen” James kissed your hand before pulling you in for a romantic kiss. You were almost breaking into laughter at your little scene.

“Well, if my _perfect husband_ insists, can I please see your best dresses?” you turned to the girl, who smiled at both of you and indicated where the dresses were.

“You are a lucky girl” the saleswoman told you, holding a couple of dresses “A wealthy, handsome and good husband like that is a catch” she giggled and you looked up at her, she couldn't be much that in her very early 20’s

“Yeah he is” the answer was more to yourself than to her, lifting your eyes to James again, waiting for you.

“But I didn’t see any of you wearing a wedding ring…” the girl mentioned and you lifted an eyebrow to her, who noticed her indiscretion “Sorry, madam, I didn’t mean to…”

“it’s okay, in our line of work we would keep on losing anyway.” you got the first dress, a velvet black one, who made your curves pop and your collarbones and cleavage more noticeable. “I like this one, I’ll take it” you said looking at your ass in the mirror.

“Oh do you mind me asking why is that? The work thing?” the girl said again, handing you another piece of clothing. You smile condescend at her.

“We’re international assassins, dear” and went in into the changing room again, you could bet the girl gasped.

After changing a few more times you went meet Bucky again, he smiled at you, who was laughing at your own choice of dress, a huge black tule dress, your ‘normal’ leg could be seen through the leg split. Combat boots making it all even more interesting.

“You look beautiful” James said as you posed before him “and fancy” he chuckles, kissing you quickly on the lips.

It was almost funny seeing you two walking around with such clothes, people would stare. You were way too fancy for that time of the day. Stopping for a hot dog on a street corner you watched Bucky close his eyes as he took a bite

“Damn, I missed this” he growled, mouth full.

“I think this is the fancies hot dog anyone ever had, Bucks” you said, joking at your appearances again, your backs against a concrete wall.

“What do you wanna do now, doll?” his eyebrow raised at you, Bucky was on his 3rd hot dog and counting, you could just admire.

“Let’s go to Coney Island, Brooklyn Boy” you smiled at his surprised reaction “I thought you’d like to see something you’d recognize, you know, from the old days?” he agreed, pushing down the last piece of food, before kissing your cheek.

Okay maybe you two _indeed_ looked like a hell of a couple, you retrieved the car you borrowed from the Tower from the parking lot it was left. A full black sports car, the vallet boy gave the key to Bucky, only making you laugh and take it back.

“Oh no no no, I drive this baby” you winked and watched the young men get flustered and look at Bucky.

“I’m more of a motorcycle man myself” he shrugged, entering the car with you as the engine roared.

The way to the Island was cheerful, James’ hand on your leg, looking at the view from the city, so different from his time. Music was playing softly on the car’s speakers and the wind was rushing through the few lose stripes of Bucky’s hair out of his manbun. He was at peace.

“This hasn’t changed much” he said as you walked into the docks and the area where a little carnival was set.

“Sunset here is beautiful, I thought we mind just kill some time around and watch it from the docks” James smiled at your words. Pulling you to hug you from behind, leaning down so his chin is on your shoulder.

“And what do we do until then?” He whispers, living a trail of kisses in your neck.

“Well, you could start winning me some prizes” you pointed a stand with your head, your arms holding James closer. You could feel his smirk on your back.

“C’mon doll, have mercy on the men” you could feel his chest holding a laugh, his delicious laugh.

“I want a teddy bear” you whined and pouted, making Bucky turn you to him, kissing your pouty lips for a moment.

“And who could say no to that” he booped your nose, making you laugh.

“Wanna play fella? Win a prize for the lady? Gather ‘round three shots only 3 dollars” the carnival man said and Bucky made his best ‘ _I’m not sure about it’_ face.

“Oh James, pleeeaaaaaaase” you tugged his arm, getting into the facade he was playing of someone who doesn’t know how to shoot a gun “Just try” he agreed with an awkward head shake, getting the grip of the riffle all wrong and still missing the easy shots.

“Sorry doll, I guess this is just too hard for me” he breathed out and you looked sad.

“Oh come on James, try again, for the lady, only 3 dollars, I let you pick any prizes if you hit three right” the carnival man said again, sure he would make a fortune out of you.

“Okay one last time” Bucky looked at you and then the men “Give me 10 shots “ the carnival man agreed, smiling under his thick mustache. James posture changed and on a matter of seconds, he hit bullseye on every fake duck passing on that wall, winking at you next. _God, he is hot._

“Wait a minute, you played me, this isn’t right” the man was about to protest, but James let his metal hand show and the other gasped “...and what prize does the lady want?” his voice was now tamed, friendly.

“The Teddy Bear back there” you pointed at a kind of large bear, the man denied.

“His right arm is slightly ripped, is not good” Bucky tensed his fists again, near the man

“I believe the lady picked up her prize, fella” the carnival man agreed, looking at James’ hands again.

Soon you were both walking around, your teddy bear under one arm and holding hands.

“This is kinda cliché romantic, isn’t it?” you asked, sitting on a wood bench, and looking at the beach, Bucky sit next to you, holding two ice cream cones and handing you one. You licked the ice cream on his hand before taking it, his eyes on your mouth “What? It was melting!”

“You know, before the war and all this, I was quite a Lady’s man” Bucky smirked at you, who made a funny face “And I used to come here with them…” his free arm now found the way around your neck, hanging loosely near your breast.

“James Buchanan Barnes, did you bring me here to take advantage of me? I am a respectable lady!” you playfully hit his chest, making you both laugh, soon the Sun would set and you just stood there, your head on James’ shoulder, his arm around you, you don’t remember to have ever felt this close and this good with someone your whole life.

“Do you wanna go on the ferry wheel?” you looked up at him, seeing the bright lights already on behind you. James muttered a _‘Sure’_ before accepting your hand.

You took a couple of minutes talking to the operator, or better, threatening him, so he would stop the wheel for a little longer.

“What was that about?” James asked, laughing lightly, you gave him your shoulders, trying to fit your huge dress on the seat.

As the wheel started to work you pulled James in for a kiss, a real, full mouth, teeth and tongue kiss, something you’ve been wanting to do all day. You could feel James smile under the kiss, his hands going for your body. As yours went for his pants as soon as you were high enough for no one to see.

“Someone’s eager” he looked at you between kisses, pulling you close. Your hand found its way inside his boxers, an erection already started to show.

“I wanted to do this since I saw you on these clothes, Soldier” you smirked, kissing him on his lips and jawline before going down, his breathes uneasy and his hand firmly on your hair.

Your mouth went for him, fitting his growing erection fully on your mouth, James’ hips shifting under you as you worked him up and down. For a brief moment, when the wheel stopped you looked up at him, your mouth open letting go just enough of his member, his eyes were dark with desire, raw and violent, you felt your thighs rubbing together as he pushed you down again.

“Your mouth feels so good, doll, so soft, you’re such a good girl for me” his husky voice and firm grip around your hair making you moan on the back of your throat, Bucky breathed out a _“Fuck”_ as he fastened your pace, matching with his hips. Your hands held firmly on his thighs, scratching and squeezing them the best you could, tears forming on the corner of your eyes from the intensity, _but it felt so damn good_.

Bucky’s moves became more and more erratic as you noticed he was approaching his climax, your hands went to hold his hips down so you could rode him through it with your lips. He left out a growl from inside his chest and his head felt back, eyes closed, the grip on your hair softened a little and you could feel his seed down your throat. You licked the man clean before lifting your head up again, trying to compose yourself and helping him with his pants.

“That’s what I call a ride, doll” he laughed when noticed your eyes were on his face and captured your lips with a kiss, being able to taste himself in you. You just smiled, cuddling against his chest and enjoying the view and the warm of his body against the cold air. Bucky was still trying to catch his breath.

“Hope you enjoyed the ride” the operator said as you both got out, he was still shaking of fear.

“Absolutely, pal” James gave the guy a tip, still not taking his eyes from you as you walked in from of him.

Since it was already getting late you both decided it’d be good to go back to the Tower, and honestly, you were dying to see Stark fuming up in anger from your shopping. You and Bucky got into the elevator and asked for his floor and yours, he gave you a questioning look.

“I need to change and get some clothing” he made a funny face, as you left, leaving a small kiss on his hand. “I’ll be back soon”

“Counting the seconds, doll” James winked at you before the door close again.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Nat laughed, watching you get into the common area for some water.

“I believe is Alexander McQueen, Natasha, thank you very much” your reply was still uneasy and Natasha got up from the seat she was reading a book on to talk to you.

“Listen I’m sorry… for what I said, I was… afraid, I guess, of losing you again” Seeing Natasha with her guard down was so rare you just stood there, not knowing what to do for a second. “(Y/N)…”

“It’s okay Nat” you smiled at last, opening up your arms to receive a hug from the red head. “You just gotta trust me a little bit more you know” she agreed with her head as you said the words into the hug, as you let her go you could see she was trying not to cry.

“Okay, now tell me everything, Mrs Barnes….” her smirk was wicked and she made a funny face at your confusion “Your clothes were delivered, Stark is furious” _._


	8. Calm before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened in the meeting with Fury, and Nat's feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this whole chapter is kind of a Nat thing, but bare with me it'll make sense.
> 
> all mistakes are my own.

Fury entered the conference room serious, more serious than his usual Fury self. The room had now Maria Hill, Tony, Natasha and Steve gathered with him.

“What’s up, Foxtrot?” Tony looked at the papers Fury put on the table, but he could clearly feel the tension on the air, a video of the Laser Tag match recorded by JARVIS playing on a big screen. “Oh yeah, remind me again why you talked me into letting that happen?” Tony pointed at the scenes you were fighting alongside Bucky. Two perfect assassins, no mistakes, no hesitation.

“Good” Fury said more to himself than to the group “Agent Hill, proceed on operation Winter Storm” Maria nodded and left the room quickly.

“What? Fury she is my sister!” Natasha hit the table, fists closed “You can’t….”

“Agent Romanoff this is a tactical decision” Fury voice went up just a notch, enough to make Natasha readjust herself.

“Yes, sir” she agreed, holding the pain in her voice.

“I’ll keep you all updated, now excuse me” and just as he came in, Nick stormed out, leaving a way-to-serious Tony Stark, Natasha trying to hide her pain and fear and a very, very confused Steve Rogers.

“What was Director Fury talking about?” Steve asked, looking at both faces with him. Tony shifted on his chair.

“SHIELD has been compromised” even though Steve was looking at Stark, the one who spoke was the red-head, looking firmly ahead. “We need something to take down HYDRA for good” she breathed out

“Trojan Horse” Stark whispered, still eyes fixed at the two faces on the screen, The Winter Soldier and you.

“He can’t do this Tony, I won’t lose her again” tears of pain and anger stormed down on her face now. Tony got up.

“Too bad sweetheart, you know it’s what we need to do” Stark now stopped in front of her “I didn’t like it either, but you know Fury is right, this is bigger than us” Natasha muttered a _‘No’_ and the man just looked down, hurt, leaving the room next. Nat felt her body fall on the chair again

“Natasha… I don’t – I don’t understand what is going on” Steve tried talking again, this time Nat cleaned her face before looking at him.

“The Winter Soldier, we went after him for a reason…” Natasha started

“Yes, because he is my friend, Nat, you were there with me” Steve smiled softly but the girl denied.

“We went after him because he is part of something bigger…” she continued “Yes, he is a feared assassin, a legend, a ghost story, but trust me compared to what Winter Storm is, he is a _lullaby_ , Rogers” Nat was flexing her jaw, angry. “Nick only let us bring my sister in because he knew, he knew who she was and what she was. He had a plan” She looked at him again “This is why I always wanted you to let go of the idea of finding Bucky, because I knew what came next”

“I still don’t understand” Steve laughed nervously “Bucky is fine”

“My sister” she continued “is the only one who can control him, still keeping him good for the kill while on the go. And vice versa, he can totally control her mental state in war. You saw them fighting, they _fit_ … each other perfectly. She was designed for this, by HYDRA. Some kind of super soldier psycho Bonnie and Clyde, I guess” Natasha let out a sad laugh.

“Your sister seemed fine…” Steve was trying to reassure her.

“Nick knows how to … reprogram her, turn her fully again into a merciless killer, listening only to the Winter Soldier, and not stopping until getting the job done. We found some old tapes on an abandoned HYDRA base near Siberia a few years ago… It’s horrible, to see someone so sweet turn into ...that.” she frowned again

“And who did that to her” the blonde man now seemed to understand the size of the issue

“Bucky…probably not on purpose, but yeah, it’s something about the neural waves and his voice, only works in Russian as I am aware”

“So, it’s kind of a mutual thing?” Natasha agreed with her head.

“And they cannot be stopped. If you saw just one of them tear apart entire governments alone, imagine what they can do together.” the fear on her voice again.

“I still don’t understand why Director Fury would want that” Steve seemed more and more upset and confused, Nat shook her head.

“His plan is analyze them together, reprogram them and send them back to HYDRA , so we destroy it from the inside”

“But it’s too dangerous… they can be discovered, they can turn against us, they can get...killed“ just now the captain had realize the whole extension of the plan.

“Occupational hazards for the greater good, according to Fury” Nat had so much pain in her voice, she felt betrayed.

“We need to warn them, Natasha you cannot be okay with this happening” Steve got up now, walking in circles.

“I’m not. But it’s not the time” Steve looked at her in disbelief “Bucky is yet too vulnerable… and Hill would start the preparations today, we have a few days to think…” Nat bit her lower lip, looking at Rogers next “You know if this gets ugly, are you read to take a stand against SHIELD, Steve, against Tony?” he agreed, on a serious nod “Good”.

Natasha waited you to come back in your floor at night, she didn’t exactly know how but she had to talk to you about this, somehow.

But then she saw you with him, in a princess dress and looking more happy than she ever saw you. It hurts more than a hail of bullets to her skin.

“ _What the hell are you wearing?” Nat laughed, watching you get into the common area for some water._

“ _I believe is Alexander McQueen, Natasha, thank you very much” your reply was still uneasy and Natasha got up from the seat she was reading a book on to talk to you._

“ _Listen I’m sorry… for what I said, I was… afraid, I guess, of losing you again” Seeing Natasha with her guard down was so rare you just stood there, not knowing what to do for a second. “(Y/N)…”_

“ _It’s okay Nat” you smiled at last, opening up your arms to receive a hug from the red head. “You just gotta trust me a little bit more you know” she agreed with her head as you said the words into the hug, as you let her go you could see she was trying not to cry._

“ _Okay, now tell me everything, Mrs Barnes….” her smirk was wicked and she made a funny face at your confusion “Your clothes were delivered, Stark is furious”._

______________________________________

“Yeah I couldn’t give less fucks about Tin man, sis” you entered your room, rotating with your dress and falling on the bed, laughing. Natasha sit by your side, looking at your eyes.

“You look happy…” she smirked, making you laugh more. “Tell me”

“No you just gonna judge me” you said, stopping your laughter and turning your back to your sister “Make me feel bad for this…” you heard Nat let out a deep breath.

“I will not, I promise you that” she touched your hip, turning you over to her “Is it him?” you agreed, feeling like a teenager.

“I know all the messed up background Nat, but I don’t know, it feels… right. Good. I feel complete with James. He is like me” you whispered the last part to your sister, fear in your eyes.

“I’ve been thinking and…. I’m happy for you” Nat couldn’t bring herself to break your heart now, _‘just let her have this’._ The assassin composed herself again and the smirk was back on her face “So did you…?” You agreed and bit your lip, sitting back on the bed

“Last night, and today on the Wheel of Wonders in Coney Island…” Nat laughed at your boldness “...kinda…” you laughed with your sister. “He’s so beautiful, Nat”

“You’re in love…” she concluded, and you got up again, starting to pick a few things.”Don’t hide from me I’m your sister” she questioned “Do you love him?” finally, you gave up, some t-shirt on your hands

“I do… I know this sound bad for you but…” Nat stopped you, holding you in her arms and kissing your cheek, fondly.

“Be happy, you deserve it” you smiled, relieved. It was so good to know your sister was not pissed off at you for this.

“So I see you tomorrow?” you pick up a bag of toiletries and went for the door.

“I’m gonna kick his ass for stealing you like this…” Nat fake-complained and you showed her your tongue, going for the elevator.

“It took you time enough…” James opened the door as soon as you knocked, pulling you in into his arms “everything alright?” you agreed, kissing him and biting his lower lip

“Wanna join me for a shower, soldier?” you smirked at his dark eyes, following you.

_Happy._

__


	9. Russian Lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was about to be a cute weekend turned into a nightmare as Fury decided it was time to act.  
> You better run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Lullaby i am referring to on this chapter is called Tili Tili Bom, you can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDMmj5WgB8c
> 
> possibly TW for anxiety, I guess. 
> 
> All mistakes are my own.

Saturday! it was Saturday morning!!

**Early morning!**

The sun was barely up in the sky and you felt your lover’s arm around you while you snuggled his neck, legs tangled. You were still tired, the last few weeks were an emotional roller-coaster and now well, Bucky was not exactly low on stamina… not that you were complaining. _‘We lost too much time already, doll’_ he’d say before taking you on his arms.

On that brief seconds in between sleep and awake, while you were drowning into your lover’s scent, you saw It… two people standing near the end of the bed, looking at you. Your first reaction was grab a gun you knew James had under his pillow and shoot on their direction, making Bucky wake up on the move.

“JESUS (Y/N) IS ME” Natasha screamed, ducking from the bullet. The other person was Steve, now covering her body with his.

“WHAT? … WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NATASHA I ALMOST KILLED YOU” You let the gun fall on the sheets and Bucky was now finally getting the grip of what was happening.

“’Morning” Bucky voice was a low gruff, and he kissed your face before getting up to the bathroom, Nat swoon over the scene ignoring your pissed off expression.

“You guys are too cute, you know that?” she smiled, making you blush. Steve was smiling too.

“And you are too creepy… we could be naked” you reinforced the last part making your sister smirk and Steve fluster.

“And that would be a bad view for who?” she laughed “You’re going soft with all this lovey-dovey thing, let’s go to the gym…” she pulled you out from the covers. You were wearing only Bucky’s T-shirt, making a very red Captain America look away as fast as he could.

“Nat its saturdaaaaay…” you whined, making your sister let go of your hand.

“Ill be outside, get up, get dressed, 15 minutes otherwise ill kick your ass to there myself” she was trying to be serious, which was very hard in your sisters’ dynamic “Seriously, you can have sex later” Natasha winked and you didn’t think anyone could be as red as Steve right now. The duo left the room and you slowly got up, meeting Bucky on his way out of the bathroom.

“What are we doing?” He asked, still trying to understand what just went down on his bedroom.

“Apparently, we’re having sex later Mr. Barnes.” you got your own way into the bathroom, washing your face, still being able to feel Bucky’s eyes on you.

“I am not against that” even with your eyes closed, you could feel Bucky’s expression. You knew him, and could help but laugh.

Bucky was even more grumpy in the early morning than you, which made your sister smile “Awn, isn’t that the two cutest little rays of sunshine” she squeezed your cheek for a bit, making you hit her hand. Steve just gave Bucky a half smile as the brunette growled

“Don’t even think about it, punk” his metal arm was now around your shoulders, bringing you close.

The gym was incredibly…. Empty. Even though it was a weekend, most agents would come around to train since Stark had areas for basically everything. Natasha helped you stretch a little and warm up your muscles, while Steve started to train with Bucky.

“What are you planning, Nat?” you tilted your head at her, now putting bandages on your hands to start training some fighting moves.

“Nothing why?” The uninterested tone gave her away, your sister was never really uninterested on anything. “Let’s do this” she pumped her fists together going for the fighting mat while smirking at you.

“I don’t wanna hurt you” she rose an eyebrow to your answer.

“You couldn’t even if you tried, _babygirl”_ the redhead made fun at the pet name, making you just give up and going at her.

Natasha was a good fighter, really good, but you were enhanced. It took you some minutes of twisting her around to have her under you, you both laughing. This drill went on for a couple more times

“Barnes, you up” her breath was heavy, James and Steve were training near you.

“I’m not gonna fight her” Bucky said pointing at you.

“Oh… the big bad Bucky Barnes is afraid of losing to a girl half his size?” you provoked him, the man just chuckle. “Let’s make things interesting shall we?” you winked at him going to the wall of accessories near the mat, getting a combat knife. Steve looked confused at you. “Come and get me, Soldier” Bucky knew your tone was playful, almost provocative.

You didn’t make advances on him with the knife, rather just throwing it on air middle combat, so it would always land with one another. Again, the few people around were starstruck by your moves together, it was a dance - a deadly dance, but a dance nevertheless. He’d try to get you with his metal arm, you’d stop it with your leg, you’d try to get him on the ground he’d flip you around. No hesitation, no mistakes, the combat knife still going from one hand to another in between you two, eyes locked.

“Never pictured her as kinky but this kinda makes you think what they do in the bedroom…” the voice coming from behind Natasha and Steve was Tony’s, the redhead stop the urge to hit him

“On the Red Room… we learn to fight as we learn to do everything else, we learn ballet while training with knives and guns…. - she scoffed, sadness on her voice - it’s a natural response of her body,

“Yeah, I rather pass the image of Manchurian Candidate right there on ballet clothing… - Tony said again, clicking his tongue.

“What do you want, Tony” Nat finally turned at him.

“Me? Oh, nothing sweetie, Fury wanted to check on these two” he pointed at you and Bucky. Natasha froze on her feet.

“Okay, ill bring ‘em to the room” Natasha agreed, side-eyeing Rogers as Tony walked away.

You heard your sister calling you and signaled Bucky to stop, making him hold the knife you were still playing with.

“I need you two to come with me” she smiled… wait, where is Steve?

The three of you were on the elevator again, something was… odd. As soon as it went up for the higher levels, your sister clicked the emergency button

“Nat what…” she shushed you with a finger over your lips, you could feel James getting uneasy.

“Listen to me, this is a plan. Fury wants Winter Storm to break into HYDRA.” you would complain, but she started again “He knows how to reprogram you, both of you… we got some old journals on a base near Siberia…” Bucky’s breath was now uneasy, you reached for his human hand, trying not to show how terrified you are. “Stark, Hill, SHIELD, everyone… don’t trust them. You both need to run, now” the elevator was going down again, for the underground garages. She held you for a moment in her arms whispering in Russian on your ear _“I love you, little one”_

“Where do we go?” you asked, tears forming in your eyes, you never thought this would happen again,

“Steve is waiting for you, he’s with us” the elevator doors opened, to meet Steve holding a duffel bag. Right behind him, a couple of SHIELD agents. You held one hand chest-high, the other holding Bucky. You two afraid like deer on a spotlight, Natasha barely breathing, body half inside the elevator. That’s when you hear it, from the central sound system, the voice that scared your dreams, Bucky’s dreams, you turn to him.

_Желание (Longing)_

His pupils blew wide, he held your hand even stronger.

_Ржавый (Rusted)_

“No, no no no ….” you felt tears of fear starting in your eyes.

_печь (Furnace)_

Bucky fell on his knees, holding his head on his hands.

_рассвет (Daybreak)_

“STOP IT” You scream, you two surrounded by SHIELD forces.

_семнадцать (Seventeen)_

Bucky starts to scream, holding his head, you fell on your knees before him, holding his head against your chest.

_добросердечный, добрый (Benign)_

Breathing, your heart pounding against your eardrums, Bucky’s hands holding on your thighs for his life.

_девять (Nine)_

You started to mumble the old lullaby for him, his screams making you cry. Natasha screaming at the top of her lugs for it to stop

_возвращение домой, возвращение на родину (Homecoming)_

He was somehow calming down, still breathing heavy, head down. You knew there was no coming back now.

_один (One)_

One last tear fell from your eye as you mouthed one _“I love you”_ to your sister. She was crying. You don’t remember ever seeing Natasha cry before.

_грузовой вагон (Freight car)_

Bucky held his head again, his cold eyes straight at you, they were dark but there was something in them when he saw you.

  
  


“ _Я жду приказаний. (Ready to comply)”_ His voice was deeper and darker than before, as it all hit you you felt yourself go, almost falling completely for a moment, if not for Bucky holding you, mumbling that same old Russian lullaby looking deep into your eyes.

  
  


_Тили-тили-бом._

_Кричит ночная птица._

_Он уже пробрался в дом._

_К тем, кому не спится._

_Он идет..._

_Он уже_

_близко._

_Tili Tili Bom_

_Can you hear the birds through the night?_

_He's already made his way into the house_

_For those who cannot sleep_

_Hear his steps_

_He's already_

_Close_

“He can’t… not that song…” Natasha now went to rip you out of the Winter Soldier’s arms, only to be stopped by your hand, holding her neck tight, smirking at her next.

“ _No”_ in a low deep Russian. You threw your sister on the floor, looking at the Winter Soldier by your side. She ran next to the wall, pulling Steve with her.

The SHIELD agents attacked both of you, or at least they _tried_.

As Bucky immobilized them you got their weapons and started firing, as the ammo was over, you started kicking them, fighting alongside the Winter Soldier. More and more agents would come over until you both look at the roaring noise from behind you, Steve was coming with a motorcycle. In a blink of an eye, Bucky runs towards him, flipping the bike and getting onto it, you ran at him, still firing the last weapon you got while you hop on the bike, covering your exit.

Almost out of the building, you could feel the adrenaline pumping on your veins, and yet the stillness of your heart next to his. _Your true pair._ A tearing pain on your shoulder made you wince – a bullet. You couldn’t see Hill but you knew it was her, Bucky didn’t notice since it stopped before his metal arm, you felt yourself getting light-headed but all you knew was you had to stay awake, you couldn’t close your eyes, couldn’t fall, holding on the man in front of you tighter than life.

You felt yourself getting lightheaded a few times on your way, not knowing exactly for how long he rode. Bucky stopped near an old building, you were in Brooklyn. As he started to get out of the bike, you lost your balance, almost falling if not for the Winter Soldier holding you. The moment he saw you were pale and bleeding his eyes blew up with fear.

“I got you, I got you” he whispers in Russian, making you smile. Bucky helped you into the old seemed abandoned building, holding you on his arms bridal style while the duffel bag that was originally in your shoulder went to his. “It’s going to be alright, _moya lyubov'(my love)”_ his words were calming, the pain was taking over, you were cold.

The last thing you remember was laying down on an old mattress while James looked for alcohol.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews and comments are ALWAYS welcomed!


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